he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
