Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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