I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
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