oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
