Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Randomize
