she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
i dont even know how to be here
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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