Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
