Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
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