THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
