You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
