Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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