Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Randomize
