ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I think my moral compass just broke
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