wat bout pragnant strippers??
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
