you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
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