he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
