The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
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