Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Randomize
