Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
