Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
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