I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
You need a sexual gate keeper
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Randomize
