Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
