First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
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