2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
