I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
