so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Randomize
