Well douche your snatch and let's go!
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Randomize
