you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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