so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
