they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
