Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
she told me i tasted like america
The beer is more important than you right now.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
