PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
Randomize
