erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
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