He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize
