You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
