she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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