FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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