I like to think it a success when the cops are called
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize