Its about making memories worth repressing
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
