i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
