Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
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