tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
