Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
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