And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
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