in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
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