so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
ttyl tear gas
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Randomize
