it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Randomize
