So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
I'm passing your future prison.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Randomize
