4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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