I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize
