When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
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