i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Randomize
