Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
The beer is more important than you right now.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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