She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
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