Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
