I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Randomize