Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
Randomize
