if i can run in heels then i can drive
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Randomize
