insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
