his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
