If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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