Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
