i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
sarcasm needs its own font
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
