yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I can't turn off my feet"
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Randomize
