i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
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